Is That a Naked Man at My Door?

Life in the country is quiet and nothing ever happens… right?

Ha ha.

Over the years some pretty interesting things have happened out in our neck of the woods. We have had ostriches running amok and naked people posing in front of open windows, in the midst of all the cattle tending and rooster crowing.

Naked people?

Several years ago, talk started buzzing about a mysterious naked man in the community. He wasn’t out roaming around the farmland or trying to get into other people’s houses or anything like that. “Then what?” You might ask.  He was quite content to stay at his own abode and flash his wares (I’m not talking about Tupperware here) at anybody who drove by after dark.

Reportedly, he didn’t mind greeting the school buses driving by early of the morning with loads of kiddies going to school either. It seems he wasn’t particular about who he flashed.

The doublewide husband decided  late one day that he had to see what (if anything) was really going on so he decided to do a little drive by. (He worked for the local sheriff’s department at the time and people kept calling him about the goings on)

I was up for an adventure and didn’t realize the magnitude of what I was getting into, so I decided to go along.

We hopped in the car and away we went. The roads around here are a little curvy in places and “Big Tex’s” house sat just as you come out of a curve going one way and just before the curve going the other way. The house was fairly close by, so it didn’t take long to get there.

Just as we approached the house in question, the doublewide husband  spotted him. “There he is!” It was dark outside, except for this bright glow coming from the wide open window of the house. At first I was like, “Where, I don’t see anything.” (I think I had my glasses on that night and I don’t see as well with them as I do my contacts) As I peered at the house thinking I was missing the action, my question quickly turned to  “Ohhhhh…. oh my goodness…look away, look away, look away Dixieland!”  Well, if we didn’t believe before that, we certainly did then.

Needless to say, that was one country drive I didn’t soon forget.

That’s also not the end of the story. At the time my little 90-year-old neighbor, Kate, lived just out the street. She lived by herself and made some of the best pies (not related to the story, but I just wanted to add it). She had heard all of us talking about the naked man and the commotion he was causing.  Her daughter, Wanda, and I would go for evening walks as often as we could and went out to Kate’s once in awhile.

One evening it started to get dark before we made it out the street. Wanda had already warned me that Kate probably wouldn’t open her door since we didn’t call and give her advance notice that we were going to stop by.

We went up to the back door and knocked. Nothing.  I remember seeing the curtain by a window move a little. Sure enough, she wouldn’t come to the door.

We walked back out the road and called to let Kate know that was us knocking at her back door. She admitted that she had been afraid to open the door. ” I thought it was that naked man.”

The naked man certainly had us in an uproar for awhile that year. Still think life in the country is dull?

 

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