I’ll Take Boots for $500, Alex

I need a “Boot-of -the-Month” club. You know, one that operates kind of  like health insurance — everybody pays in so much – except you get a new pair of boots every month instead of a trip to the doctor.

I love boots — all kinds of boots — tall and short boots, cowboy boots, work boots, shoe boots. Lovely leather boots. ❤

I think I’m addicted. No – I know I’m addicted. I can’t get enough.

I’m all jelly legs upon walking into a boot store. I won’t say that I need an intervention. I don’t want an intervention. If I’m wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

How can loving boots even be wrong?

I enter contests on Facebook all the time – “like, share and stand on your head while eating a banana, and you’re in to win!” Yeah, well I’m still waiting. That’s why I need a Boot-of-the-Month club.

If I ever decided to go bad and turn to a life of crime, my specialty would probably be holding up boot stores. There I would be, armed with a potato masher and a pop gun demanding the loot – give me all your Fryes and Old Gringos and nobody gets hurt.

I don’t know how or even when my boot obsession started. Maybe it was the influence of old cowboy shows like Gunsmoke and Bonanza. I never wanted to be the girl in the saloon waiting for her hero to ride into town – I wanted to ride the open range with Little Joe and Hoss, tending to the cattle, eating beans off a tin plate, singing by the campfire and wearing cowboy boots. Ahhh, that would be the life.

Now I’ve got to figure out a way to pay for my obsession, since there are no boot insurance plans.  I need to start a boot fund.

If anybody feels inclined to donate, I’ll be glad to provide you with the name and address of my favorite boot outlet. I’ll just have them set up a running tab in my name.

Brother can you spare a boot?




12 thoughts on “I’ll Take Boots for $500, Alex

  1. Got to wear my boots for the first time since last winter Saturday night for Tim and Faith’s concert. My daughter wore her boots with her new Lily Pulitzer shorts outfit.That’s how we do it in steamy Florida. Ha, ha


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